Redefining masculinity in the Balkans

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Anne McPherson

Vice President, Global Communications email [email protected]

I shaved my head when I was 10 years old and it opened a whole new world to me.

Growing up in Kosovo, I started noticing gender roles at a very young age. Men could be masters of their own fate – so it seemed – and women had to accept their subordinate role. I envied my male cousins my age. I wanted to have the same benefits as they did: I wanted to play like the boys did, roam around the village freely and climb trees. But most of all, I desperately wanted to have access to education.

Most girls from the village I grew up in were lucky if they completed middle school. Due to an unstable political situation, it was considered very dangerous for girls to attend school. Due to cultural forces at play, it was also deemed unnecessary.

That was a tumultuous time in Kosovo. Violence was an ordinary part of life and I feared falling victim to some form of it. But what frightened me equally if not more, was succumbing to my role as a girl and later as a woman. As a girl in my village, I was expected to learn how to sew and weave beads through fabric to create a whole set of decorative handwork to show prospective husbands what a great housekeeper I would make. I was to expect someone to seek my hand in marriage – maybe I would be presented with a photo of the man – and then a date would be set for the wedding. This was how parents felt they could protect their daughters; it was the only future they could see possible.

At that age, my response to what was expected of me was simple: I liked the roles boys and men had in my culture, so I cut my hair and started acting like a boy with the hope that I would get treated as one. It was very uncommon for girls to have short hair. Long hair was one of the most important marks of femininity, and the fact that people could not distinguish my gender made them very uncomfortable. In classrooms, I was seated on the boys’ side, which led to being grouped with the boys for every school activity.

Cutting my hair short was not an intentional act of resistance to the dominant ideology of gender; I was only ten. I just wanted the same access to the world that boys seemed to have. And my short hair was a big reason why I was able to enjoy some of the same freedoms as the boys. However, my short hair also led me to see what boys were also going through. To be treated as one of them I had to adopt a tough exterior, prove my physical resiliency, and take cues from men who were tough and most feared. Looking back, I realize now that boys were learning that violence was a natural part of masculinity.

Getting young men to critically reflect on the social construction of gender can help alter these unhealthy notions of masculinity that often contribute to violence. Fortunately, there are programs doing just that.

The International Center for Research on Women (ICRW) released a new report last week at the London Global Summit to End Sexual Violence in Conflict that summarized findings from a project working to build more gender-equitable, healthy, and non-violent lifestyles among youth in post-conflict Balkans. The project, called the Young Men Initiative or YMI, uses a school-based curriculum – adapted from Promundo’s Program H – plus community and social media campaigns to encourage young men to reflect on unhealthy gender norms, detrimental behaviors like violence, and inequitable treatment of women and girls. Program implementation and coordination was led by CARE International Balkans, carried out by collaborating institutions in four countries, and evaluated by ICRW.

YMI was implemented in Bosnia-Herzegovina, Croatia, Kosovo, Montenegro, and Serbia. While we saw promising results across sites, I am particularly encouraged by the Kosovo findings. After participating in YMI, many boys indicated more equitable views about gender and sexual diversity. For instance, prior to the program in Prishtina, 81 percent of the participants agreed with the rigid gender norm that a woman’s most important role is to take care of her home and cook for her family. By the end of the program, this number had decreased by 15 percentage points. Many participants also expressed more flexible views about masculinity: In Prishtina, 58 percent of participants disagreed with the statement that physical strength was the most important quality of a man, compared to 31 percent prior to the program.

Violence remains prevalent in the Balkans and many of the young men in YMI said they experienced or carried out various physically violent acts at home and in school. However, after participating in the program, their awareness of emotional violence improved, with many reporting that they no longer stereotyped others or used name-calling. Others also expressed that the program motivated them to not act out violently if, for instance, their friends were involved in a fight: fifty-eight percent of the young men stated they would not join their friends in a fight compared to 38 percent at the start of the program. Moreover, by the end of the program, 76 percent of participants indicated they had intervened to stop a fight.

I found it very encouraging to see that YMI also helped to shift young men’s perceptions and outlook on violence against women. After the program, many participants were less likely to support men’s use of violence against women who were unfaithful. The number of participants who thought women shouldn’t have to tolerate violence also increased.

While patriarchal norms are still prevalent in the region where I grew up, ICRW’s findings are certainly promising and the evidence demonstrates why it’s so important to engage young men in discussions about violence and gender equality – especially during adolescence, while their attitudes and behaviors are still developing.

When I returned to Kosovo in 2001 after the war, I was shocked to see how quickly the culture had changed. Youth, in particular, were more eager than ever to catch up with the Western world, in terms of fashion and pop culture. Kosovo’s newfound freedom also brought advancements in gender equality: today, my female cousins – those who can afford it – are all pursuing higher education. Parents no longer fear for their safety as they did when I was young. They want their daughters to create their own futures and choose their own partners in life.

Still, while women and girls are enjoying more freedom than ever before in Kosovo, the notion that it’s a woman’s duty to stay home and take care of her family is still very common. This is why programs such as YMI are so critical; they truly have the power to begin to shift deeply rooted gendered expectations.

Perhaps Kosovo showed the greatest results because everyone is so hungry for change after years of conflict and a lost generation. I hope healthier, happier opportunities continue to open up for little girls and boys in villages like mine – regardless of anyone’s haircut.

Photo on homepage by Klubi Bonu Burrë/Be a Man Club and is part of a social media campaign encouraging youth to speak up against violence. Sign states “I want to stop it [violence].”